Why marriage is not just a word

Found this article on the NY Times... Connecticut Ruling Overturns Ban on Same-Sex Marriage

I must admit, whenever this issue came up in high school, I never really understood the big deal about gay marriage (or same-sex. does gay only refer to male-male now?): I just didn't comprehend why two people would care so much about being labeled "married" versus "in a civil union" etc. And conversely, I didn't get why people would make it into such a big thing. Now I do.

e.x. - a lot of people argue that the Bible defines marriage as between a man and a woman. Thus, marriage cannot apply to 2 people of the same sex. The high school me probably would have said: who cares about what you call it... basically two people are living together, love each other, etc... (I would call it marriage, since they've created a family unit. But if that word offends you, fine... call it something else-- domestic partnership, whatever. As long as you are not actively trying to oppose those two people living together, it's fine).

But beyond the intangible issues inherent in the discussion (i.e. is the relationship between a man and a man/a woman and a woman "viable"? is the word "marriage" a sort of condoning on the part of society that they want?) --- I've since realized that the word marriage entails tangible things as well. All these Economics classes... I mean, on your tax return, writing "married" affects things; it affects your pension plan; it affects your retirement benefits and Social Security contributions; it affects your ability to adopt children; it affects your bequests and a lot more.

These days, marriage is not only a word that implies a deep loving relationship, but it is also a legal concept that changes the bureaucratic aspects of your life. This may seem painfully obvious to some people, but unfortunately it certainly was not to me just a few years ago.

So why do people oppose gay marriage, apart from the religious arguments? Let's try to bring some reason into this. Why would you be against two people of the same sex having the legal rights of husband and wife? Do people think same-sex couples are more frivolous than heterosexual couples and thus cannot be taken seriously when they say than want to marry? But we could pretty much shatter this argument to pieces by looking at the divorce rate in the U.S. : 50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second and 74% of third marriages end in divorce, according to Jennifer Baker of the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology in Springfield, Missouri. [http://www.divorcerate.org/]

yikes. I don't know... it's just weird to look at the non-religious aspects of this issue, since I usually only hear religious type arguments for why same-sex couples shouldn't marry.

[and to anybody who wants to bring up the separation of church and state argument, good luck. I've since been disillusioned-- the U.S. walks a fine line on that one, and I don't think I even buy it anymore...]