got a library fine of $26 today for returning a reserved book a few hours late. managed to talk my way out of it, mostly by looking whiny and sad.
some random guy stopped me as i was walking back home from the library. it went like this:
him: "hi, are you a smith student?"
me: "yes"
him: "may i ask, what nationality are you?"
me: "chinese"
him: "oh, can i ask you a question?"
me: "sure"
him: "have you ever heard gospel before or joined a church?"
me: "um... no, but i'm really not interested. thanks"
i didnt know there would be asian evangelicals on this particular college campus, of all places....
started running every day again ... it's really nice. it gives me some alone time away from people, which is nice. though my thighs are huge(er) now
Monday, October 27, 2008
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Self-centeredness
There was something about today. I think once you get into a certain "funk" it's hard to get out of it... for me, if I wake up in a bad mood it just spirals until something mood-changing happens (which is rare) or until the next day comes (which often doesn't cut it either).
I don't know what sparks this strange mood, which makes me want to stay under the covers all day and hide away from everybody and everything. Yes, it's all so emo until it's real. And then you end up feeling antisocial and crappy for having wasted so much time. And bad. I mean, do I even have any substantial problems compared to a lot of other people? Everything seems so minor when put into perspective, and yet when I apply my perspective to things this moodiness dominates and impedes upon any chance of happiness and productivity for the day. Maybe it's hormones or something, who knows. I did eat an awful lot of crap, then ended up watching Ugly Betty for a good part of the day.
Why do I have days like these?? I wish I had a time-turner so I could go back just two days and tell myself to stop being such a freak. I guess I'll have to try and make sure it doesn't happen again, but I'm really afraid it will.
I don't know what sparks this strange mood, which makes me want to stay under the covers all day and hide away from everybody and everything. Yes, it's all so emo until it's real. And then you end up feeling antisocial and crappy for having wasted so much time. And bad. I mean, do I even have any substantial problems compared to a lot of other people? Everything seems so minor when put into perspective, and yet when I apply my perspective to things this moodiness dominates and impedes upon any chance of happiness and productivity for the day. Maybe it's hormones or something, who knows. I did eat an awful lot of crap, then ended up watching Ugly Betty for a good part of the day.
Why do I have days like these?? I wish I had a time-turner so I could go back just two days and tell myself to stop being such a freak. I guess I'll have to try and make sure it doesn't happen again, but I'm really afraid it will.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Why marriage is not just a word
Found this article on the NY Times... Connecticut Ruling Overturns Ban on Same-Sex Marriage
I must admit, whenever this issue came up in high school, I never really understood the big deal about gay marriage (or same-sex. does gay only refer to male-male now?): I just didn't comprehend why two people would care so much about being labeled "married" versus "in a civil union" etc. And conversely, I didn't get why people would make it into such a big thing. Now I do.
e.x. - a lot of people argue that the Bible defines marriage as between a man and a woman. Thus, marriage cannot apply to 2 people of the same sex. The high school me probably would have said: who cares about what you call it... basically two people are living together, love each other, etc... (I would call it marriage, since they've created a family unit. But if that word offends you, fine... call it something else-- domestic partnership, whatever. As long as you are not actively trying to oppose those two people living together, it's fine).
But beyond the intangible issues inherent in the discussion (i.e. is the relationship between a man and a man/a woman and a woman "viable"? is the word "marriage" a sort of condoning on the part of society that they want?) --- I've since realized that the word marriage entails tangible things as well. All these Economics classes... I mean, on your tax return, writing "married" affects things; it affects your pension plan; it affects your retirement benefits and Social Security contributions; it affects your ability to adopt children; it affects your bequests and a lot more.
These days, marriage is not only a word that implies a deep loving relationship, but it is also a legal concept that changes the bureaucratic aspects of your life. This may seem painfully obvious to some people, but unfortunately it certainly was not to me just a few years ago.
So why do people oppose gay marriage, apart from the religious arguments? Let's try to bring some reason into this. Why would you be against two people of the same sex having the legal rights of husband and wife? Do people think same-sex couples are more frivolous than heterosexual couples and thus cannot be taken seriously when they say than want to marry? But we could pretty much shatter this argument to pieces by looking at the divorce rate in the U.S. : 50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second and 74% of third marriages end in divorce, according to Jennifer Baker of the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology in Springfield, Missouri. [http://www.divorcerate.org/]
yikes. I don't know... it's just weird to look at the non-religious aspects of this issue, since I usually only hear religious type arguments for why same-sex couples shouldn't marry.
[and to anybody who wants to bring up the separation of church and state argument, good luck. I've since been disillusioned-- the U.S. walks a fine line on that one, and I don't think I even buy it anymore...]
I must admit, whenever this issue came up in high school, I never really understood the big deal about gay marriage (or same-sex. does gay only refer to male-male now?): I just didn't comprehend why two people would care so much about being labeled "married" versus "in a civil union" etc. And conversely, I didn't get why people would make it into such a big thing. Now I do.
e.x. - a lot of people argue that the Bible defines marriage as between a man and a woman. Thus, marriage cannot apply to 2 people of the same sex. The high school me probably would have said: who cares about what you call it... basically two people are living together, love each other, etc... (I would call it marriage, since they've created a family unit. But if that word offends you, fine... call it something else-- domestic partnership, whatever. As long as you are not actively trying to oppose those two people living together, it's fine).
But beyond the intangible issues inherent in the discussion (i.e. is the relationship between a man and a man/a woman and a woman "viable"? is the word "marriage" a sort of condoning on the part of society that they want?) --- I've since realized that the word marriage entails tangible things as well. All these Economics classes... I mean, on your tax return, writing "married" affects things; it affects your pension plan; it affects your retirement benefits and Social Security contributions; it affects your ability to adopt children; it affects your bequests and a lot more.
These days, marriage is not only a word that implies a deep loving relationship, but it is also a legal concept that changes the bureaucratic aspects of your life. This may seem painfully obvious to some people, but unfortunately it certainly was not to me just a few years ago.
So why do people oppose gay marriage, apart from the religious arguments? Let's try to bring some reason into this. Why would you be against two people of the same sex having the legal rights of husband and wife? Do people think same-sex couples are more frivolous than heterosexual couples and thus cannot be taken seriously when they say than want to marry? But we could pretty much shatter this argument to pieces by looking at the divorce rate in the U.S. : 50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second and 74% of third marriages end in divorce, according to Jennifer Baker of the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology in Springfield, Missouri. [http://www.divorcerate.org/]
yikes. I don't know... it's just weird to look at the non-religious aspects of this issue, since I usually only hear religious type arguments for why same-sex couples shouldn't marry.
[and to anybody who wants to bring up the separation of church and state argument, good luck. I've since been disillusioned-- the U.S. walks a fine line on that one, and I don't think I even buy it anymore...]
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
change in a glance
i thought i could change but it's not meant to be
old habits die hard but you pick up new ones like shattered glass, it stings but you can't help loving the shine.
now i'm deaf in one ear and my insides are ripping me apart
i keep hoping for that one glance that'll turn it around
but you're not the one, so i'll have to do it myself
i'd rather trust you than myself.
old habits die hard but you pick up new ones like shattered glass, it stings but you can't help loving the shine.
now i'm deaf in one ear and my insides are ripping me apart
i keep hoping for that one glance that'll turn it around
but you're not the one, so i'll have to do it myself
i'd rather trust you than myself.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
21st Birthday
Totally love the ability to be completely selfish without consequences on birthdays. It's something I haven't really exploited until today. Played the card of "but it's my birthday" a few times, it works well. Note to self -- use every year from now on.
Went apple picking in the morning. Ice Cream (free medium sundae). Boys Like Girls concert, where the lead singer repeatedly took sips from bottles of water and threw them into the audience. Then at the end he threw his sweaty towel into the audience. Two things:
1) He should have thrown something a little more.... valuable/hygenic (i.e. photo, autograph)?
2) Why did the girls fight over somebody's used water bottle/towel? Ew.
Then I thought back to my own BSB for life days. Okay, I wanted to get as close to them as possible, but
Was I really that asinine?
Feeling older (maybe a little wiser, definitely much meaner),
CZ
Went apple picking in the morning. Ice Cream (free medium sundae). Boys Like Girls concert, where the lead singer repeatedly took sips from bottles of water and threw them into the audience. Then at the end he threw his sweaty towel into the audience. Two things:
1) He should have thrown something a little more.... valuable/hygenic (i.e. photo, autograph)?
2) Why did the girls fight over somebody's used water bottle/towel? Ew.
Then I thought back to my own BSB for life days. Okay, I wanted to get as close to them as possible, but
Was I really that asinine?
Feeling older (maybe a little wiser, definitely much meaner),
CZ
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